I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
