dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I am available for nakedness
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
