I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize