Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
