Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize