Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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