It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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