you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize