She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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