So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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