Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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