oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
