everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I think your dad took our porno
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize