wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
