it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
