He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
