basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
