Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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