Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
