If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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