yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
and you fell through a lawn chair
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
