So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
