He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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