is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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