Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
