no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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