Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
