once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
