Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
honey bunches of taint.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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