I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
