Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
