So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
