she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize