That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
