apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
