Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize