if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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