Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
