I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
