stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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