her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
