you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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