Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
