I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
