Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I didn't notice because vodka
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
