I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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