I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
