There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
