Plan B is the new Plan A
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
