He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Randomize
