Kareoke will never be a sober sport
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
