I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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