everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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