..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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