how can u be prego again
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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