Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
No subtext here. People are naked.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
