I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
