the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
