I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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