I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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