someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
