i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
