i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
