does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
