we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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