I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
