i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How external is "for external use only"?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize