Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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