Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
